Things I Did That Pushed Cervical Orgasm Away

Looking back, I realise I did things that unknowingly distanced me from experiencing cervical orgasm. I was following external advice, trying to become a sexually satisfied and alive woman.

I followed instructions instead of listening to my body’s wisdom.

I bought the vibrator I saw in demos, where women seemed to be having orgasms. I trained my body to respond to strong external stimulation.

I watched instructional videos, got lost in theories—many of which were created by men—and then wondered why I was stuck in my head, trying to figure out how to ‘get it right.’

I used jade eggs, forcing my vagina to squeeze instead of learning how to surrender and let this happen naturally.

I tried all the positions recommended in dating columns (doggie style for cervical orgasm).

I had an orgasmic meditation practice focused on my clitoris.

All of these things took me further away from cervical orgasm because they were about controlling my experience and pushing for a result.

Over time, I realized I wasn’t fully present in my body. I kept judging myself, focusing on the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be. Instead of being in the moment and noticing the tiny, subtle sensations, I was searching for something bigger. But the moment is the only place where cervical orgasm can happen.

I hadn’t yet learned true surrender, which comes from being integrated with my body. I was still conditioned to ‘do’ rather than ‘be.’ Porn, my partners, and conventional sex all suggested that orgasm was something to achieve through effort.

So, here’s what I did to shift things:

• I threw out my vibrator and started focusing on my internal sensations.
• I paused all practices that caused tension, including clitoral focus, for a few months.
• I stopped relying on external sources for pleasure—no more men, porn, or sex toys.
• I began releasing stored trauma and tension in my body and cervix.

The biggest change I made was shifting my intent. Instead of aiming for orgasm, I focused on being present and open to receiving whatever happened. I learned to direct energy with my mind and awaken my heart’s frequency. I realised that surrender comes from the coherence of heart and mind, and that technique is secondary to my internal state.

When I let go of control and focused on being fully present in a sexual experience, I connected with myself on the deepest level. That self-connection, combined with cervical stimulation, unlocked cervical orgasm for me.

I’m sharing this because there’s so much coming to support your journey. Keep an eye out for a new21-Day Cervix Challenge to help us get back to basics, followed by a new program focused on the embodied experience.

Our men’s work is also on the way—I’m currently sitting with my lover, planning it out. This will beautifully complement what we’re doing.