It takes courage to walk into a doctor’s office and tell the doctor that you would like to guide the Pap smear. It's an entirely new paradigm. I remember the first time I did this. I had to pretend I was confident because I knew that if I seemed nervous, the doctor wouldn't feel comfortable with me guiding it.
When I say guide, I mean: I put the speculum in, I tell the doctor when they may enter me with a swab after I've taken a breath to relax, I remove the speculum. I'll also ask to see my cervix in a mirror. This is the best way to have any medical procedure where something is inserted inside of you.
These procedures are FOR YOU and your health. They are not for the doctor. By guiding your own Pap smear, you are in control of how you need it to be performed. It takes no extra time and it will allow your body to relax, rather than holding tension and/or disassociating from your body with small talk.
Reframing how this procedure takes place makes it about you and how you choose to have your body touched. We are rushed in, told what to do, have instruments put inside of us, and then we leave. It can feel completely disempowering or violating.
"Reframing how this procedure takes place makes it about you and how you choose to have your body touched. We are rushed in, told what to do, have instruments put inside of us, and then we leave. It can feel completely disempowering or violating."
Let them know when you are comfortable for them to enter your body.
One simple adjustment you can make, is to tell the doctor when you’re ready for them to enter. This is not the same as them asking for permission to enter, it’s you being in full control. Make sense? You’re the one who gets to say when they can enter your body. Can you feel the subtle difference?
It’s the same with lovers or bodyworkers. If they ask permission to enter you, it’s for them. They’re better off saying, ‘tell me when you want me to enter you’ or ‘tell me when you’re ready to receive this swab’. Or even better you say, ‘I’ll let you know when I’m ready for the swab. [pause, breathe, relax your pelvic muscles]. Ok I’m ready, you may enter.’
I guarantee you’ll walk taller when you exit the doctor’s office. You have stood in your value and communicated with confidence, backing yourself all the way.
By having a say in the matter, we get to create safety in the body and this is exactly the same safety we need to practise creating for orgasmic love making. We get to decide how our body is treated. The more you learn to value yourself and know your body is yours, the easier this will be.
Ps. Look out for a free class announcement this weekend where I talk all about Self Partnering. The first step towards fulfilment, deep intimacy and pleasure x
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