I would love to be able to proclaim, that my sexual encounters have, for the most part been conscious loving, Tantric and rewarding. But as I mentioned last week, that is not my story. And I’ve realised (with a weird kind of relief) that I am not alone.
Today I am celebrating. Last weekend I can truly confirm, the tools in Self:Cervix actually work. And you might be thinking, "well I hope they work since I'm investing in this". But the truth is when you're exploring, pioneering and finding your own way, you just don't know where it's all going.
We all know now that the gut is colonised by a range of beneficial bacteria that are absolutely essential for healthy gut function and robust immunity. But did you know that the vagina is the same? Yes!
I have always had a nerdy interest in sex. (I'm the one carrying a speculum in my handbag.) After healing myself from the bonds of shame in my late 20’s, I went on a mission to learn everything I could. I was obsessed (like the rest of the world) for better or worse. Here are three things I've learnt:
I want to expand my consciousness through orgasm. Not just any kind of orgasm - the kind that causes my sense of ‘me' to disappear into light. Just writing that makes me laugh on the inside. I could have chosen to want something a little bit easier, but I’m fascinated by the possibility.
When it comes to sex and intimacy, you can imagine there is a LOT to protect. Resistance doesn’t care that you’re an adult woman, managing a career, growing humans and paying bills. It doesn’t care that your vagina and cervix will feel way better through the practice.
The first time it happened for me ... I sat quite still with my finger on my cervix for about 20 minutes and then slowly the sensations grew into a deep full body throb, my sense of physical limits appeared to dissolve and expand.
I actually came close to enjoying my pap smear the other day. Not because it was pleasurable or even fun. But because I created it the way I wanted to experience it – with consent and relaxation.
