Your vagina is a house full of pleasure potential. While our focus is on the cervix, we also love to celebrate ALL the different erogenous zones inside your miraculous pussy. Afterall, the more aroused you are, the more the brain signals the release of very important chemicals and neurotransmitters that support full cervical orgasm.
The pleasure is different for each, mainly because of the different neural connections. You’ll notice the deeper pleasure zones have a distinctly different flavour than the more superficial zones.
I remember when I was learning how to awaken pleasure in my cervix, I was looking for a similar feeling or orgasmic experience to my clit. Though it’s true that at a pure sensation level, the cervix can feel like another clitoris inside - the pleasure is rounder, smoother and deeper. The orgasmic states are not at all similar - it’s not a steady climb to the top followed by a release. It’s more an ongoing opening and expansion. It’s a trance-like high. The difference in sensation and effect is because of the different nerves and triggered neurochemistry.
So here’s a rundown of all the different ‘spots’ (which are more like ‘zones’ (the G,A,U and the C).
U stands for Urethra - where you pee from. The urethral opening can be very pleasurable, especially when combined with clitoral stroking and g-spot stroking.
It will swell a little when stimulated.
How to find it?
Find the U-spot by tracing a straight line from your clit to your vaginal entrance.
How to stimulate it?
Try up and down or sideways strokes with lube.
Otherwise known as the female prostate or Graffenberg spot (named after a dude, yes). It’s less of a ‘spot’ and more of a region.
It swells with stimulation and with enough time can cause an ejaculation of clear fluid - sometimes a LOT of fluid. This ejaculation may or may not come with an orgasm but it feels like a great release - including emotionally.
How to find it?
Trace your finger up the front wall of your vagina. One to two knuckles in, you’ll find a ridge which has a different texture - it feels bumpy.
For some the area just over the bump is most pleasurable.
How to stimulate it?
The classic stroke for the g-spot is the come-hither motion - bending your finger up towards the front wall. You may need a lot of pressure and repetition for maximum responsiveness. Also try circling the area or using two fingers and moving them up and down the sides of the region.
Otherwise known as the anterior fornix. it provides a lovely blended orgasm with clitoral stimulation and is really pleasurable on its own after enough stimulation. Arousing this spot is also great for lubrication.
How to find it?
It’s above the G-spot and in front of the cervix on the front wall. In other words it’s deep inside.
How to stimulate it?
It swells and feels all cushiony with stimulation and you may need a wand to stimulate it as it’s so far inside.
The come-hither movement works well for stimulation and it likes about 10 - 20 minutes of continuous stimulation.
Your cervix - the intergalactic portal into magical cervical orgasms that for some look like dissolving into light and for others look like a never-ending wave of relaxed bliss.
When you learn to truly surrender and awaken the superhighway through the body from cervix to crown,the effects can be psychedelic. We believe it’s because a chemical called DMT is released (dimethyltryptamine) from the pineal gland or another highly synthesised form of melatonin that creates an otherworldly effect. (The problem is, it’s very hard to measure and so there is basically no research in the area)
In the next couple of weeks I’ll be teaching a new class on The Psychedelic Cervical Orgasm - stay tuned.
How to find it?
If you haven't felt your cervix, the first step is to find it - build a relationship with it.
The cervix feels different to the rest of the vagina - firmer tissue raised in the shape of a tiny donut. Not sure how to find your Cervix?
When you know where it is and what it feels like you can begin to include it in sex and self pleasure.
How to stimulate it?
The Cervix is most responsive to slow deep pressure or still pressure combined with small movement, after 20 - 60 minutes of arousal
Enjoy clockwise circles around your cervix or stroking across the cervix.
When you touch your cervix, you can also get information - is it numb, does it feel uncomfortable or painful or can you feel pleasure? These things matter. If your cervix is numb or painful, you need to spend time healing it through loving touch and through changed behaviours (such as having better boundaries, asking for your needs to be met).
It's a deep journey and there are many layers to it. When it comes to cervical orgasm, this is not something you can just ‘make’ happen. You can prepare - you can learn how to relax, work with your nervous system and learn how to feel more sensation. Then the rest is out of your hands. It's the ultimate surrender.
Principle #1 of this work is to have a vision but forget the goal and focus on awakening, feeling and connecting.
How to explore your pleasure zones through self pleasure
Having amazing sex with yourself is foundational for amazing sex with a partner. I love both and I have practiced both throughout my life. For a long time, self-pleasure was a refuge for me and I can look back now and see this journey of self-lovemaking with comical eyes. (Like, in my early 20s, throwing my first ever vibrator across the room when my partner came home, I was that shame-filled, trying some weird lube that was supposed to ‘make me more orgasmic’ but which actually burnt my clit ooouuuuch!) All of it was useful in the long run.
Over time, the expansion of pleasure during my self-lovemaking has gone through the roof quite literally. I love loving myself this way.
I notice comments such as ‘I have a partner so I don’t need to self-pleasure’ or ‘I prefer having sex with someone other than myself’. Yeah, I get it. From my perspective, self-pleasure is equally as lovely, just different. It’s a way to really worship yourself, learn about yourself, take all the time in the world and you don’t need to deal with someone else’s needs or desires. It’s all for youuu - AND self-pleasure is a beautiful form of self-love.
So as you prepare your sex date with yourself, think about what you like >>How do you want to create a pleasure ritual for yourself? This doesn’t need to be fancy (unless you’d like it to be).
All I need is some music, some lube and my unbelievably goodwand.
So, for the purpose of exploration, here's how:
- Set an intention - what do you want to explore? (One area or multiple)
- Set a timer so you know you can focus for a certain amount of time
- Try not to pre-empt what will happen - learn to be open and breath into what is happening now
- Enhance sensations with your mind - turn the volume up on everything you’re feeling
- Keep relaxing your body and everytime you notice yourself thinking, focus again on a new sensation, turning it up and relaxing around it
- Use music in headphones as another way to stay inside your body.
Here is a spotify playlist for you….. enjoy!
What about vibrators? (And why I threw mine away)
You might be tempted to explore these pleasure points with a vibrator - and by all means, it’s a useful exploration BUT it does come with a downside; mainly it is not human. This means that you train yourself to feel something that no other human can do for you.
When I realised this, I reluctantly threw mine away. Myoversized vibe had been very helpful to me over the years and getting rid of it was kind of like saying goodbye to 3-minute thrills of pleasure forever.
But I knew that ultimately, for where I wanted to go sexually, my years with a vibe were over.
I had to look at it logically - here’s this machine that buzzes like a power tool that I actually put on this tiny little fragile tissue to ‘make’ it respond quickly. How could I ever expect to be responsive to a tongue or a finger if I conditioned my body away from feeling subtle things? It’s kind of like only eating anchovies for ten years and then trying to eat a strawberry. Or going to a wine tasting where it all begins to taste the same.
My wild dream was to one day experience the mystical Tantric spiritual orgasm. I wanted to know what that kind of lovemaking was like.I wanted my orgasm to merge me into the everything. I had big dreams.
So I put down the vibe and I swapped it out for my finger and a wand.
I had to put my finger through some training - I had to be patient and give up the ‘quicky’ as I learnt how to re-sensitise myself.
It’s also important to continue exploring with your finger, no matter what you choose - it’s your body to know and love and nothing substitutes the information you can gather through direct touch.
Lazy-gurl’s pleasure with The Release Wand™
For my internal world of pleasure zones, I tried all sorts of different wands and dildos. I had an impressive collection. But none of them were just right. They were either two big, too straight, too ridgy or too short. So, I developed my own.
What I love most about it is I can totally relax while stimulating myself - that’s because of the curve. It’s the lazy gurl’s epic pleasure solution.
Seriously this actually matters, the less you’re doing, the less you’re engaging the part of your brain in charge of motor skills, the more easily you can totally surrender.
You can read about how to use The Release Wand™ in this post.
More essentials for your Pleasure-Quest
A goal-less state
When it comes to orgasm, the path leads us back to effortlessness.
We are, without effort, orgasmic beings.We can do all these practices in preparation. I used to think that I had to master specific practices, but I no longer think that’s true.
We can clear the space, learn presence, focus, learn how to create safety and deep relaxation but the truth is, when it happens it isless a matter of ‘doing’ and more about being in a space of non-resistance.
It occurs in the absence of mental or physical tension. Ironic right? We do all this work but then we just let it go and tune in.
When I let go of trying and doing and working hard for orgasm and instead focussed on feeling, healing and allowing...orgasm like I'd never imagined opened up in me.
Love & Intention
The cervix knows love. It is a spiritual journey as much as a sexual one. The cervix knows when the knock on its door is filled with presence and intention or when the knock is more like a punch. The cervix will open her door when the knock is vibrationally pleasing. And when the door opens so does heavenly orgasm. It can take a while to warm the cervix up. Be patient as you come home to yourself.
Waking up pleasurable sensation is far more than a mechanical, physical process. It’s not about buying a wand and giving it a whirl inside a few times, assessing whether or not you can feel. It sounds strange but it’s actually about developing a relationship with this internal part of you. It ultimately is about the relationship with yourself.
Pleasure over Pressure
I used to think I needed to orgasm quickly. THEN I discovered my cervix.
My cervix taught me not to give a damn about how fast I orgasmed or if I orgasmed at all. In fact, the world of the cervix is ‘slower the better.’ Pleasure over pressure.
Afterall, why would we want to get to the finish line faster when everything before it feels so good?
So there’s a run down on all things self-pleasure. Enjoy the journey and remember, pleasure and orgasm comes in different ways for everyone :)
Keep your eyes peeled for an exciting new webinar coming up on The Psychedelic Cervical Orgasm.
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