I want to expand my consciousness through orgasm. Not just any kind of orgasm - the kind that causes my sense of ‘me' to disappear into light. Just writing that makes me laugh on the inside. I could have chosen to want something a little bit easier, but I’m fascinated by the possibility.
Expansive cosmic orgasm is an acceleration of life force felt in the now. It is an experience of grace.
Though it can take time, the kind of orgasm I’m talking about cannot be forced, figured out, or even anticipated. We can do the ground work, such as all the practices in Self:Cervix, but then we must become masters of loving and experiencing the-now-sensations as they are. Because at the end of the day we are whole and complete - nothing is missing from our experience and we all experience connection to something higher in different ways. For example, my mum gets it through gardening.
So the paradox is: The more you want expanded
orgasmic states, the less it’s possible.
The more you want partnership and feel the lack of it, the more this wanting pushes it away. The more you push for a baby that hasn’t arrived, the more anxiety hardens your receptivity.
When we want something that is not in our present reality, there’s a sense of having to work really hard for it. And when we work really hard for it for it, we over-effort. And the over-effort-ing is a sign we’re off track.
When we want something, there’s a gap between how things are and how we want them to be. The extent of our suffering depends on the perception of this gap. When we enter into deep meditative states, we touch on our completeness and realize that at a fundamental level nothing is missing and everything is possible.
I remember reading a passage by Margot Anand, a legend in the Neo Tantra movement. She experienced God through orgasm the very first time she had sex. Then she spent the next two decades trying to repeat it in order to teach it. What she discovered was that it was always there and there was actually less to figure out and less to do. But sometimes (always?) we have to go on a journey before we come back home to this truth.
So with orgasm and any kind of expansion, the key is to get much better at just 'being'. No matter where you’re at right now, just have a good exhale and settle in.
To 'be' is no easy feat in our busy lives. There’s a reason why people retreat for spiritual practice. To 'be' is the goal of any meditation. The orgasm we’re talking about is a meditation - it is an expansion of being-ness into pure bliss. So I invite you to stop wanting orgasm. Rest into what is (the sensation) again and again and again. This kind of awareness with no future or past takes you into expansion.
One of the best things you can do is practice. Set a time with no goal or outcome - just enjoy yourself and your body sensation, playing with different touches without an agenda.
So what about manifestation?
The trick with manifestation is imagining a field where there is no gap between what you want and what you have. You begin with gratitude - you have so much right here and now, and then you imagine and act as if what you want is already here. You have it. There is no lack. There is no gap. The desire is fulfilled. This shift in consciousness alters your action and your attitude. What would it be like if you walked through your world as if it was all here, nothing is missing?
In the Rapture programme, we dive into Orgasmic Manifestation. This is fun because we are natural creators and we are creation itself. Orgasm is the biggest creator in the universe. The Big Bang was one massive orgasm! So pull your desires into your practice and see them as done, let them stream through orgasmic energy in your body. (Note: Rapture happens in November and it is strongly recommended you complete Initiation or Release beforehand).
It’s good to want. It’s good to feel desire, but living in that gap is just agony. And we don’t necessarily get what we want. We get what we get and then work with it. My mantra: