One of the key teachings in Self:Cervix is learning how to self-source. This means knowing you have the capacity to generate any number of feelings AND you are the source of them all. Though it may appear that someone else is responsible, it is your nervous system, your neurochemistry and your history causing a surge of emotion. It's the same for orgasm. The orgasm is all yours and is not given to you by anyone. The pleasure is also all yours. And the fear and the joy.
So the good news is that we can observe what we're seeking from external sources and give it to ourselves instead. This is not about being a 'strong independent woman'. That experience is equally as painful because when we try to pretend to be these things we are putting up our armour to try to protect our sensitive hearts. No, we want to be open to receive love and care from others but it's also good to know that we can take responsibility for giving ourselves these things. At the end of the day, we're the only ones who can fill 'the void'. We can learn to partner ourselves.
Here are four things you can do to begin to source your own love, strength and company when you may be feeling alone.
1. Anchor into your pelvis. One of the key practises in the Initiation Journey is learning how to presence yourself in the pelvis. This is an incredibly powerful way to be here and now AND be in your core. I like to imagine it like drawing my focus vertically down and in rather than out and wide (towards others). Wherever you are (seated or lying down), place your hands on your pelvis and take at least 10 breaths, allowing your belly to relax and expand. Imagine all of your nourishment there and then feed yourself with this nourishment. (Do this to lovely music for as long as feels good).
2. Practice ‘being with’ yourself. Adding on to this... When I’m feeling emotional, anxious or lonely I practice ‘being with’ myself. This is so important for those of you who may struggle with codependency or needing others to feel fulfilled. It’s also a really important tool for dealing with loneliness. Now is your time, honey, to be there for yourself and to be with all of your emotions. This is great practice for when we do end up in relationship. Want to improve your emotional resilience? We have a guided course for this, if you'd like to taste it, get instant access to a beautiful meditation practice for connecting with your heart and a source of your love. You can access here. There’s also a fun emotional release practice so you can physicalise your feelings and connect with your body. (Also great training for orgasm by the way!)
3. Touch yourself. Do not avoid it – even if you feel very resistant to it. This could be the most orgasmic few months of your life. Take yourself to your bedroom, sit on your bed and take 10 deep breaths. Place your hands on your body and begin slow touch. Or massage your breasts in the shower. Breast massage is one of the best ways to stimulate the release of oxytocin. Now IS THE TIME to learn how to become your own best lover.
4. Put your heart into something. In my dreams, I’m a DJ. Hehe. That’s top secret! So I have my mixing deck and I can pass hours playing music. So what do you love? What have you always wanted to do but never get around to it? Part of self-sourcing is doing things that fulfil you. And so much of this is placing your attention on something that brings you peace.
Use this time to develop a very intimate relationship with yourself. This means stay close to your emotional landscape and accept it rather than repress it. These are important steps in self-partnering. And if you’re wanting to be in a relationship with someone else – I’ll share about what you can do now for that soon.
Stay with yourself!
Lots of love,
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