...and mystical it is!
When I first began this work, I was amazed by what I call an epidemic of numb or painful cervixes. When I first began this work, I couldn't feel a thing on my cervix and I speak to many women who haven’t felt cervical pleasure - quite the opposite - they associate the cervix with the uncomfortable feeling of having a pap smear. It’s enough to put people off exploring the cervix. Why are they numb? Well, for many reasons ranging from medical trauma, penetrating too soon, shame or just a lack of awareness.
So the first step to learning to feel cervical pleasure, is actually learning to feel something or working with discomfort if that’s what is there for you.
Commonly you’ll hear it’s normal for the cervix to feel uncomfortable. Normal, maybe. But not natural.
It was the scientist and orgasm researcher, Dr Barry Komisaruk who discovered the cervix has its own neural pathway to orgasm during his research on people with spinal cord injuries. He found with cervical stimulation, his subjects could experience pleasure and orgasm via the vagus nerve which does not connect to the spine.
This was an amazing discovery because it proved the cervix is a pathway to pleasure and orgasm independent of our other pleasure anatomy. In fact, it is the only organ in the body connected to three sets of paired nerves. It is definitely meant to feel.
The cervical orgasm feels like deep pulsing pleasure which spreads across the entire abdomen and sometimes the whole body. Where as the clitoral orgasm feels quite localized and has a build up of tension followed by a release, the cervical orgasm doesn’t follow this linear progression. It feels more circular. You can’t reach for it or aim to ‘get there’. It seems to arrive and expand. Sometimes it pulses in subtle waves of expansion, other times it is powerful and can go on for a very long time.
It’s difficult to explain because language has nothing to do with this process and usually gets in the way. In fact, we need to be in a state of deep surrender and ‘no-mind’ to give space for it to unfold. This is why you cannot quest for it. Setting it as a goal just activates your sympathetic nervous system whereas cervical orgasm takes place in a prolonged, relaxed state riding the waves of pleasure that occur when you are deeply present.
The first time it happened for me, I was in my hotel room in Rome. I was so happy and my heart was completely open (another important factor). I decided to do my practice and work with my cervix. I sat quite still with my finger on my cervix for about 20 minutes and then slowly the sensations grew into a deep full body throb, my sense of physical limits appeared to dissolve and expand.
And this is what’s special about the cervical orgasm: It can be a mystical, cosmic unfolding. This is why they are also known as the Tantric orgasm; because they can be spiritually profound.
Check out these experiences from women in the Self:Cervix community:
"It feels like all edges disappear and I become one with my partner..with the universe, with all that exists.. It feels ecstatic, like I am completely filled with love, completely fluid, open. Its like everything becomes energy, flowing, connecting..in a state of pure love and joy.. It feels soft and surrendered. When it comes I never want to leave this place…”
There is no science to prove what exactly is going on here, but the common theory is that the body is releasing DMT (Dimethyltryptamine). DMT naturally occurs in many plants and is the the pyscho-active ingredient in the plant medicine ayahuasca. DMT produces intense psychedelic, transcendent experiences similar to those described during cervical orgasm. Research on rodents suggests it’s possible we also have our own DMT supply that is emitted via the lungs or pineal gland. But we can’t be sure as unfortunately science as dropped the ball on endogenous DMT research.
Depending on where you’re at in your healing journey, there are many paths to cervical orgasm. It is a non linear process so isn’t exactly step by step but here are three important factors that seem to be important across the board when it comes to experiencing this sublime state:
- First and most importantly you need to awaken sensation at the cervix with dedicated and regular cervical stimulation. You might find your cervix is numb or uncomfortable. When I first began my practice, it took me up to 20 minutes before I started feeling something, so be patient. At first, what I felt wasn’t that nice but it changed over time.
- Refrain from clitoral orgasms. I know this is tough one for many. As lovely as they are, they follow a goal-oriented, tension-based process. There is a peak and a drop. In order to feel a cervical orgasm, you have to be able to stay relaxed and prolong your sexual encounters. Giving up clitoral orgasms during this process also trains your brain to start feeling the subtleties of your inner world.
- Give yourself time. You need to be very turned on. When you’re aroused your cervix moves out of the way allowing for deep penetration. This means getting good at asking for what you want and setting the pace. You need to feel ok about taking as much time as you like.
- Feel the love. Eastern sexuality practices have always linked the cervix with the heart. In Taoist sexual reflexology the cervix is the heart point. Whenever I’ve experienced expanded cervical pleasure, I’ve come into my heart. During self pleasure I focus on feelings of love. During partner sex, it helps if you’re in love with your partner but you don’t have to be. Simply tapping into feelings of love is enough to open the channel between cervix and heart.
Cervical orgasm merges sexuality and spirituality so beautifully. It is without question another way to experience the depths of who we are. It blows my mind that the place from which we were born also has the potential to blast us back to experiencing one-ness and love.
It can take a while to break the patterns that prevent cervical pleasure, but for me, if the cervix has the potential to show me more of who I really am, all the patience and time is worth it.